Everyone seems to be obsessed with lists lately. 13 reasons your boyfriend left you… 20 movie stars from the 80’s you wish you slept with before the 90’s… a list of the worst buzzfeed lists. Without even searching that I swear to God one exists.
So as summer is coming into the home stretch I started thinking about my own list. What makes winter so much better than summer… and (with the help of my intern Grace – (yes, you read that correctly – Ski Till I Die has an intern) here are the 27 reasons we came up with. Also, we finally have a website so you better go buy a shirt!
27. Summer only lasts for 3 months… ski season lasts for 6.
26. GNARNIA doesnt exist on the beach.
25. There is no such thing as “apres beach”.
24. Sand gets EVERYWHERE. And it sucks.
23. Goggle tans > Bathing suit tans
22. Seagulls dont ski. They fly south for the winter. That means during the entire summer they annoy the absolute $HIT out of you.
21. It’s impossible to be eaten by Jaws on the mountain. Unless you’ve seen Avalanche Sharks… in that case, you’re just F’d. Either way I would rather be eaten by wolves or bears.
20. You cant eat sand. Snow is delicious.
19. Snow men > Sand castles
18. You know that song ‘Summertime Sadness’…
17. Speaking of songs… all the girls you hear about in summer music, for whatever reason, always turn out to be huge whores. Notice a trend there??
16. I’d rather be on top of the mountain than under the board walk.
15. Bonfires in the snow are cooler than bonfires on the beach.
14. You can still hike a mountain in the summer. If you decide to jump in the ocean in the winter you will die.
13. Talking to girls on the mountain is way less creepy than trying to talk to girls on the beach.
12. Ferris wheels are gross. And sticky. Id rather have sex in a gondola.
11. Christmas in July is cool… Actual Christmas is cooler.
10. Tailgating on the mountain is 1,000 times more fun than sweating in the parking lot.
9. You are less likely to have someone blow a whistle at you for skiing out of bounds. And as a grown man, there is nothing I can think of that is more embarrassing than having a 16 year old tell you to get out of the water.
8. There is no Gaper day at the beach.
7. There is skiing and then there is spring skiing.
6. Have you ever ridden a snow mobile before??
5. You dont need an excuse for everyone to jump into the hot tub. Depending on how apres skiing went there is also a good chance that you can convince everyone topless is the way to go.
4. Nude beaches are full of disgusting people 9 out of 10 times.
3. You can’t catch crabs on the mountain. Plus, when you catch a wave you’ve usually been floating out in the middle of the ocean for :45 minutes and at that point most definitely lost your buzz.
2. Kids, fish, and whales pee in the ocean. We all learned early on to avoid yellow snow.
1. Without ski season you wouldn’t have anything to look forward to all summer.
My brother Tim has an anger management problem. If you hear him play Call of Duty you wouldn’t question the diagnosis. Like all my brothers however, Tim is an avid skier and I heard him describe skiing in a very special way the other night. He said that skiing was his sanctuary.
I don’t need many words to get my point across here. If you have a love for the snow then you already agree with this sentiment.
Skiing as a sanctuary. I have heard people describe skiing in similar ways before and it never had the same impact. But it’s the perfect metaphor to describe skiing as more than just a sport.
For some reason when you are on the mountain you don’t have to think about anything else. Put the sticks on the snow and everything just seems to fall into place. Putting your skis on edge just comes naturally, and it is therapeutic to the soul.
So the next time you find yourself having a bad day. Call out sick and find yourself on the mountain. It truly is a sanctuary within itself.
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to everyone. If you have not been able to enjoy a day on the slopes you will soon. Skiing is upon us and an entire season of effortless turns await each one of us.
Lets begin by continuing the story I had written about ‘my first time’. To bring us back there quickly; it was Holiday Valley and I was 15 years old.
All weekend I kept seeing this same girl over and over. Wherever I went there she was, shredding it with the boys. White puffy jacket and long brown hair, flying through the trees and always just out of reach. Well obviously I had to catch her somehow… I was never one to let things get away.
So the last day we were there we were skiing up in Tannenbaum again and my buddy Graham spotted her, “There she is Bones!”. I had one chance to catch her. So I hurried off the lift and started cruising down the mountain until I caught up to her. Were both skiing down the mountain at a pretty decent speed and I did what any normal 15 year old high school kid would do. I pulled in front of her and orchestrated one of the best yardsales of my life. Skis went flying, gear ended up in the woods, it was one of those that catches OH S$&T from the lift crashes, and when the powder settled it was just her and me…
It was genius! Of course she is going to stop and help me, and what better way to start a conversation! I ended up skiing the rest of the day with her and had a wonderful time of it. This girl ended up being my Senior Prom date and to this day not only are we still great friends, but she insists that my fall was an accident. Little does she know…
Which brings me to our next topic of conversation…
Dating & The Mountain
These days everyone is online. Match.com, Plenty of fish, and a whole slue of others. Are you kidding me?! Are we really that busy we cant meet people in person anymore??
On a side note I am a hypocrite because I actually did Match.com, twice… both times failed. I always attributed online dating to shopping because essentially thats what it is. You browse online until you find something you like… you check out their profile and try it on. At this point you’re still digging it until you actually go on a date. Then you realize how terrible the decision was to use online dating. Listen, I get it… its efficient, its easy, its safe, and even when you are sitting at home un-showered of a Friday night… people are still online looking at the profile pic you posted up there from the beach 7 years and 20 pounds ago. But here is the point… EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER IN THE STORE!!!
So why not try meeting people on the mountain?! Its perfect! If you love snow, then you would obviously want to be with someone else who shares the same affinity for snow, right? Then what better place is there to meet someone, than the mountain?!
All day long you ride up and down the mountain, stand in lines, use the chairlift time to chat, have lunch in the lodge, then finish it off with a cold one before you head home. That right there is a recipe for success my friend.
You meet someone who strikes your interest in the lift line. Leave your friends and pretend to be a single and say, “hey, mind if I ride up with you guys?”. Then you have a solid 7 minutes (2:30 if you live in Ohio) to sit there and just talk this person up: where are you from, what do you do, isn’t the snow awesome today?! Then right before you pop off to head back down no one is going to say, “no, we DONT want you to ski with us”. For some reason it just doesn’t happen that way. So after skiing together for a few hours you finish things off in the perfect setting; at the bar for some apres ski enjoyment…. maybe by the fire, who knows. Then BAM, the second date is a phone call away.
Im actually surprised more people don’t end up meeting at the mountain. Maybe its because were too comfortable within our own groups to branch out -or- that were so used to clicking through profiles we just don’t care anymore. But I’m telling you, if you only read and adherer the advice from 1 story, read and heed this one!
For more dating services and advice I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and until next time fellow lovers of the fresh tracks – Cheers!
It is my pleasure to announce the first official Ski Till I Die contest… ‘Spread the Mayo’.
For years now me and my friends have been referring to ridiculous snow as mayonnaise. Im talking about that soft, buttery, delicious white stuff you cruise through on your way down the mountain…. surfers have the perfect wave, baseball has the perfect game, all skiers are in search of that perfect snow, we happen to call it mayo.
WE NEED YOU to spread the good word & all you have to do to enter is follow us on Twitter, subscribe to our blog, and Like us on Facebook – then you will be selected at random to win a hat, hoodie, or zip-up.
And it gets better…
Anyone who contributes a story about their best Mayonnaise experience will be entered to win the grand prize. A complete original set of exclusive Ski Till I Die merchandise and the opportunity to accompany us up to one of our mountain visits this upcoming season.
So start following, liking, and typing your way into some extra fun this season. The contest winners will be selected at random and announced on New Years Day. Good luck and enjoy the pre-season shred fests!
Ryan & Paul