Everyone seems to be obsessed with lists lately. 13 reasons your boyfriend left you… 20 movie stars from the 80’s you wish you slept with before the 90’s… a list of the worst buzzfeed lists. Without even searching that I swear to God one exists.
So as summer is coming into the home stretch I started thinking about my own list. What makes winter so much better than summer… and (with the help of my intern Grace – yes, you read that correctly – Ski Till I Die has an intern) here are the 27 reasons we came up with.
27. Summer only lasts for 3 months… ski season lasts for 6.
26. GNARNIA doesnt exist on the beach.
25. There is no such thing as “apres beach”.
24. Sand gets EVERYWHERE. And it sucks.
23. Goggle tans > Bathing suit tans
22. Seagulls dont ski. They fly south for the winter. That means during the entire summer they annoy the absolute $HIT out of you.
21. It’s impossible to be eaten by Jaws on the mountain. Unless you’ve seen Avalanche Sharks… in that case, you’re just F’d. Either way I would rather be eaten by wolves or bears.
20. You cant eat sand. Snow is delicious.
19. Snow men > Sand castles
18. You know that song ‘Summertime Sadness’…
17. Speaking of songs… all the girls you hear about in summer music, for whatever reason, always turn out to be huge whores. Notice a trend there??
16. I’d rather be on top of the mountain than under the board walk.
15. Bonfires in the snow are cooler than bonfires on the beach.
14. You can still hike a mountain in the summer. If you decide to jump in the ocean in the winter you will die.
13. Talking to girls on the mountain is way less creepy than trying to talk to girls on the beach.
12. Ferris wheels are gross. And sticky. Id rather have sex in a gondola.
11. Christmas in July is cool… Actual Christmas is cooler.
10. Tailgating on the mountain is 1,000 times more fun than sweating in the parking lot.
9. You are less likely to have someone blow a whistle at you for skiing out of bounds. And as a grown man, there is nothing I can think of that is more embarrassing than having a 16 year old tell you to get out of the water.
8. There is no Gaper day at the beach.
7. There is skiing and then there is spring skiing.
6. Have you ever ridden a snow mobile before??
5. You dont need an excuse for everyone to jump into the hot tub. Depending on how apres skiing went there is also a good chance that you can convince everyone topless is the way to go.
4. Nude beaches are full of disgusting people 9 out of 10 times.
3. You can’t catch crabs on the mountain. Plus, when you catch a wave you’ve usually been floating out in the middle of the ocean for :45 minutes and at that point most definitely lost your buzz.
2. Kids, fish, and whales pee in the ocean. We all learned early on to avoid yellow snow.
1. Without ski season you wouldn’t have anything to look forward to all summer.